Baby Jesus Made Me Cry

"In addition to demanding that we fulfill every 'jot' and 'tittle' of Old Testament law [Matthew 5:18], Jesus seems to have suggested, in John 15:6, further refinements to the practice of killing heretics and unbelievers: 'If a man abide not in me, he is cast forth as a branch, and is withered; and men gather them, and cast them into the fire, and they are burned.' Whether we want to interpret Jesus metaphorically is, of course, our business. The problem with scripture, however, is that many of its possible interpretations (including most of the literal ones) can be used to justify atrocities in defense of the faith."

-Sam Harris, The End of Faith

The End of Faith

"I hope to show that the very ideal of religious tolerance - born of the notion that every human being should be free to believe whatever he wants about God - is one of the principal forces driving us toward the abyss." -Sam Harris, from The End of Faith

I just started this book, and I can already tell I'm going to be cheering this guy on from beginning to end. He made an interesting point that if someone today applied for a job and wrote that her main qualification that she has vast knowledge and skill in alchemy, not only would she get laughed at, she would probably be labeled as insane and possibly dangerous for being so out of touch with reality. Harris hopes for a future where saying one has faith has similar repercussions; it is not having faith in moderation and tolerating faith in all forms that is the ideal, but moving past faith altogether.

But let's see where he leads us, and what he proposes as a guiding force for society (science?).

So Let It Be Written

I've decided I definitely miss my two friends who live here. I wasn't sure if I would, since we so rarely saw each other and they seemed to not have much room in their lives, but I do miss them. I could always count on stimulating conversation about books, movies, other things, even if we all have different tastes.

Oh well.

Out of Context

When one hasn't had a good father, it is necessary to invent one.
-Nietzsche

I've heard a lot of people say that it's dangerous to quote Nietzsche out of context. Probably a pretty pretentious thing to say, since whenever you quote anyone you're doing it to serve your own ends.

I do think my life would be better if I followed a maxim like that, though. If I invented my own reality and were really able to trick myself into believing it, I would be so much happier, and so would the people around me. I can't decide if it's better to be happy in that way or to hold on to reality and react to it as it dictates.

(Obvious parallels to religion here...)

Studio 60

"Your side hates my side because you think we think you're stupid. My side hates your side because we think you're stupid."

Too true. A local candidate here opposes abortion even in the cases of rape or incest. Fucking social conservatives. I'm sure that at some point I won't feel so strongly about political issues, but right now I'm completely incapable of respecting stupid people.

Little Red Riding Hood

I wrote a note to my grandma, apologizing for leaving quickly after the conclusion of the awards. I have always thought she was a cold person, and have never been close to her. This confirms my suspicion that she knows nothing about me or my situation, and may not even care. Following is my e-mail to her and her response to me.

My e-mail to her:
Subject: Thank You
Body:
Hi Grandma,

Thank you so much for having a place for me and Steve at the Crystal Heart Awards. I have always enjoyed going to the awards, and this year was the best so far. Steve and I were impressed by several of the trailers and hope to see the movies at some point. I wanted to mention that I'm sorry I left quickly at the conclusion of the awards. I was a little surprised by my dad's choice in seating arrangements, and felt too upset to stay and talk with everyone. Normally, that's the part I like best, seeing people I don't normally get to see. I was sorry to miss out on that.

The evening was so lovely, and is always so heartwarming. Film has been an important part of my life, and I think it is important to honor movies that uplift and give hope. I'm glad you're a part of the festival and have helped make it a big part of Indianapolis culture.

Love,
Lauren

Her Response:
Subject: RE: Thank You
Body:
You shouldn't be upset with your Dad on seating arrangements.....those were mine. I made the assumption that since you had clicked with all the gals this summer, that you would enjoy being at a table with them and that gave me a chance to put two celebrities at their table.....which I like to do for Heartland as a member of their Govenor's Board. There were no politics in that seating arrangement that didn't come from me and those were with good intentions! It was an "all granddaughter arrangement" in my mind, and since you saw family all the time, and Idonna wasn't always your favorite, that it was a good idea. I sat away from my husband to be a better hostess to friends......it wasn't about me or you......it was about enjoying the tickets and the evening.

And a second e-mail:
Guess I should clarify that your Dad did not purchase a table.....we bought 4 tables at $200 a head and I had the task of arranging the seating and trying to also fulfill my obligations as a Board of Governor's person to have donated seats for celebrities at each table. I made those choices. That was 40 people to consider.

And Grandmotherly advice ahead: ......a lesson I learned in life was that when you are in a group setting you should develop a "group setting mind-set" which uses the universal rule......"what would it be like if everyone in the group did a particular behavior".....if it doesn't pass muster, then you adopt what would be O.K. for all if everyone did it. We have traveled with large groups numerous times and seems there is always one or two that cannot think beyond the end of their own noses, and don't show up on time, or demand special "circumstances", etc. They always "tell on themselves" and quickly are spotted. I always feel for the persons in charge of herding the group to and from the various buses, planes, etc. as those few dominate to the disadvantage of the big picture. And I feel the saddest for the ones that cannot seem to be part of a group......as know the rest of their lives must also be more problematic than needs be. Life is tough enough on it's own, so I try to make my thoughts and actions leave room for the benefit of the doubt, and take the high road. Over a life span, it makes a BIG difference! Don't "find" problems.......enough of them will find you all on their own.

When the kids were little and we would all go on vacations together.....I watched a transformation happen! All of us were of the mind-set that "I was on MY vacation and everything should center about how I want to spend MY vacation". (myself included). Well....we learned that 6 people cannot think that way because it was not-fun for anyone....as 6 people with their noses out of joint were not compatible. So....we had discussions about developing the group mind-set when it is indeed a group.......and we ALL had a better time.

Guess you know we love you, love you, love you.......as does your Dad. And no.....I am not sharing these things with your Dad.

Daughter of the Century

Two nights ago, I went to a fancy event along with much of my extended family. It was great to see a lot of the people there, especially my female cousins to whom I've grown closer as we've grown up. I was underdressed and consequently feeling a little on edge, but trying to feel sexy-nerdy and put on a happy face to those who force me to do so.

As it is every time I see my dad with his new family, I had to brace myself and pretend that I'm okay when his new daughter walks in on holding his arm like I did for so many years at the same event. That I'm okay with the new dresses and shoes he bought for her and her mother, when I'm underdressed because I didn't want to spend $300 for a new gown. That I don't resent him for giving her a $30,000 Nissan Xterra for her first car, when I paid $1,000 for a Ford Tempo owned by my mother's parents, and for probably planning on giving her brother a $30,000 BMW when he turns 16 (well, it will be five years old...you guys wouldn't want that, anyway). That I think it's great that he's only known these people for two years and has spent a million dollars making a better house for them - to impress them. That he bought his girlfriend a $2,000 Chanel purse and a who-knows-how-many-thousand-dollar ring that she wore on her wedding ring finger until it became too conspicuous, and he makes me feel bad when I ask to borrow a piece of sheet music or a DVD. That he sees them every day, and won't even answer his goddamn phone when I or my brothers call him. That he goes on vacation with them and hides it or lies about it. That last year, when I agreed to go on vacation with him and his new family because my brothers also agreed to do so, he ignored me most of the time, and when we went to the movies, I saw a movie alone because I didn't want to watch fucking Cheaper by the Dozen II. That he blames me for the fact that our relationship suffered after he divorced my mom. That he lies to me constantly. That he thinks he's a better person than me because he says he believes certain things that I think are ridiculous.

He called me a month before this event to tell me I'd be sitting with my cousins, since I'd enjoyed spending time with them lately. I said that that was great, that I'd be happy to sit with them, thinking he meant maybe there were only six seats at his table. The reality was that he chose my brothers (and their significant others), along with his girlfriend and her children, to sit at his table, and that because of that, there was no room for me. What is humiliating is not that it was very obvious that I should have been at his table, but that he lied to me about the reason for it so that if I ever said anything, he could tell me that I sounded appreciative when he told me about it on the phone. He could ask me where I thought he should have put his girlfriend's children and I couldn't say, "What the fuck do I care?" or "Why the fuck are you bringing them?" But what the fuck do I care and why the fuck did he bring them?

Slowing Human Progress

“South Park” isn’t known widely for its wisdom or insight, even if fans know that it is often a source of both. My boyfriend’s parents’ heads would literally explode upon seeing an episode like this past year’s Christmas special, which featured cheerful woodland critters having a blood orgy in anticipation of the birth of their savior, the Anti-Christ.

But one of the most enlightening episodes of any TV show I’ve ever watched came during a season six episode entitled “Biggest Douche in the Universe.” In the episode the boys go to a taping of the show “Crossing Over,” which features John Edward talking to dead people. (In case you’re unaware, this is a real show that people actually watch, and this guy writes books that actually people buy.) One of the boys, Stan, doesn’t buy Edward’s act, and soon takes a trip to make Edward admit he’s a phony.

Stan arrives at Edward’s house, and while he waits for Edward to meet him, he checks out the bookshelves which contain books on cold reading, the technique that all “psychics” use to dupe people. Stan confronts Edward, who comes down his stairs to a taped recording of a cheering audience, repeatedly calling him “a liar, a fake, and a douche.” Later, Edward tries to defend his behavior, saying, “Everything I tell people is positive and gives them hope. How does that make me a douche?” Stan replies, “Because the big questions in life are tough. ‘Why are we here?’ ‘Where are we from?’ ‘Where are we going?’ But if people believe in asshole, douchey liars like you, we're never going to find the real answers to those questions. You aren't just lying, you're slowing down the progress of all mankind, you douche.”

Stan proceeds to study up on cold reading to show Kyle that anyone can do it, which soon backfires when others witness his newfound “powers.” Kyle clearly and slowly explains that what he’s about to do is a trick, but the onlookers are dumbfounded by his psychic abilities. Stan and John Edward end up in a showdown on “Crossing Over” which is finally interrupted by aliens crashing in and taking John Edward to the intergalactic Biggest Douche in the Universe contest, which he wins.

But in addition to douchey liars like John Edward, I believe all religions are guilty of slowing human progress. (This is not to imply that I think people who believe in God are douchey liars.) No matter how good (or evil) my intentions, choosing and promoting the answers given by religion would literally slow the progress of all humankind. If I stop asking the big questions and decide instead to have faith* in a belief system claiming to have those answers, I stop my part of collective human progress, even if my own contribution is infinitesimally small; if everyone stops their part, then progress slows drastically. Non-theists and theists alike can choose to be apathetic in their intellectual and spiritual pursuits, but the religious theist’s pursuits, even at their best, are hampered by the fact that they have already accepted the (wrong) answers.


*Dictionary.com: Faith
Confident belief in the truth, value, or trustworthiness of a person, idea, or thing.
Belief that does not rest on logical proof or material evidence. See Synonyms at belief. See Synonyms at trust.
Loyalty to a person or thing; allegiance: keeping faith with one's supporters.
often Faith Christianity. The theological virtue defined as secure belief in God and a trusting acceptance of God's will.
The body of dogma of a religion: the Muslim faith.
A set of principles or beliefs.
*Hebrews 11:1 – “Now faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of what we do not see.”

One

I will write things here.