On the Bus

I like it when I'm able to laugh at angry people. Today, when I got on the bus, everyone decided it would be a good idea to just stand right inside the doors, so that I barely missed them closing on me. Once inside, I saw that basically the entire bus was open, and that people were just blocking the way. Saying, "Excuse me," I started to head back to the back of the bus since clearly everyone was just going to stand there obliviously, but as I was going through one particularly tight squeeze, with one very overweight person on my right and another person on my left (who has a roll-around suitcase at her feet), I hear the woman on my left say very loudly, "Excuse me. Excuse me!" I look back, once I've almost fallen over because the bus is moving and I'm trying my hardest not to touch anyone and these people refused to move at all to accommodate me passing by, and find to my surprise that this woman is addressing me. Keep in mind that she is about a foot taller than me, and a decent weight, so probably about 60 or 70 pounds heavier. "You almost knocked me over back there." I smiled, thinking she was joking, since there is absolutely no way I could have knocked this woman over, even trying my hardest. I lost the smile pretty quickly, though, when I realized she was very angry about it, and told her I had been trying to get past her to make room for people getting on the bus. "Yeah, and you nearly knocked me over doing it." At this point, the interchange had become a scene, and everyone on the bus was staring at us. I wanted so badly to note that she had clearly been making it a point to not let me through when I said excuse me, and that it was only as a result of her arbitrary, bullying stubbornness that our coats even came into physical contact, but of course, I apologized, saying that hadn't been my intention. Nostrils flaring and head cocked to the side, she said "OK," and proceeded to move herself out of the aisle so that boarding passengers could get by.

::sigh::

Music Update

So Neutral Milk Hotel's "In the Aeroplane Over the Sea" is the best thing I've heard in an incredibly long time. Why didn't I know about this? How did it exist without me finding it?

Music

So after about six years of listening to nothing but slow, soft, usually melancholy music, I think I'm ready for a change. Maybe the past two or three years of not being overly interested in music have geared me up for a switch. I sometimes hear music via my friends, but it's hard to listen while other stuff is going on. I want something a little less soft, sometimes more fun, but still sometimes sad or melancholy. But here's the thing: I haven't really listened in so long, I don't even know where to start. Here are my criteria, and I'm begging for your suggestions:

1. It has to be sincere. Whatever it sounds like and whatever the lyrics are, I've gotta believe the singer.

That's it. A single criterion. So please, your suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

Things You Never Knew About George Washington

This is ridiculous.

If I Were Real

So I'll just come right out and tell you because you're not here and it won't seem like I'm giving you an unbearable burden by letting you know that I have actual, real-live feelings: When I came to this place, I had no idea what I was getting into. It's just. so. hard. And not hard like writing papers was hard as an undergrad, or hard like work can be hard sometimes, but hard like I might not be able to do this. I know I can do the work, but why do it at all? I often forget that I'm a real person, and that other people know I'm a real person, and that somewhere, someone in the world actually cares that I'm a real person.

What I miss most of all about having close friends around is that reminder that I'm alive, and that I really am the way I think I am. Being alone so much of the time leaves me almost entirely without a sense of self, which is made more difficult since I'm also trying to figure out who I am without my father and my religion. It's difficult not to be self-absorbed here, but those times when I'm most focused on others are the times I start to lose touch with reality. This place is not reality. I will be gone in four months and probably never see anyone here again.

And yet...

Still not a real post

I'll really write at some point, but those of you who have played the original Super Mario Bros. might enjoy this.